


A Recipe for Reconciliation

by thatJCperson



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Allison, Alive Kate Argent, Alpha Derek, Angst with a Happy Ending, Chance Meetings, College Student Stiles, Eventual Fluff, Graduate Student Derek, Multi, Past Relationship(s), Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski are Roommates, Scott is a Good Friend, Second Chances, Stiles Has Panic Attacks, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-11
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 16:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11467143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatJCperson/pseuds/thatJCperson
Summary: It has been three years since anyone last saw, heard, or otherwise sensed Derek Hale. Stiles had no regrets about what happened between them, he just wanted to see Derek one more time, to ask him why he left. He had resigned himself to accepting that that probably won't happen. Until it does and everything goes to hell (of course).





	1. The Supermarket

     Eggs, check. Milk, check. Garlic, check. Stiles hated grocery shopping. He hated the menial ness of it. Well it wasn’t menial, if he didn’t do it then he wouldn’t eat. Well, he could eat it would just cost a lot more money. It was almost like he could feel his brain oozing out of his ears from the mind numbing ness. He always forgot something off of his mental list, it was probably a sign he should have a non mental list. But he worked a part time job and was a full time student, who had time for that?

     The rhythmic sound of the moving cart clacking over the tiles served as a good background to the task. It was better than the years old canned pop music that was playing as at a hum throughout the store. He couldn’t help but hum along to the song that was playing. The song was getting stuck in his head, but what else is new…

     Rice, check. Bell peppers, check. Scott’s favorite ice cream…. Not check. He swiveled around realizing he forgot one of the most important items on his hodge podge list. His roommate would murder him if he forgot cookie dough ice cream _again_. Apparently it, “helped him tune his werewolf senses.” Stiles couldn’t help but scoff at the memory of the conversation. His best friend for life had been his roommate their freshman and sophomore year of college, eventually culminating in them renting an apartment together. Of course Stiles had found an awesome way to ask Scott to do this with him, it had totally embarrassed his friend since it was in public, in the middle of a very crowded diner no less. The patrons had thought he was proposing (he had a beautiful speech worked out.) Scott’s face throughout the whole thing was priceless, he was either about to laugh or murder him. If it wasn’t for Allison kissing him after he said yes (and rudely punched Stiles in the arm) the majority of there would have thought they were a couple.

     But sadly Stiles had had no luck in the dating department… There had been one boy, back in Beacon Hills. Before Stiles had gone off to college. They spent one night together -One amazing night together. Before Stiles wound up awakening to a cold bed, the other half’s occupant long gone. He tried not to think about it, about that horrible feeling of rejection. Of course he had cried about it. He had cried about it a lot after it happened but he had learned a lot from it.

     He had gotten lost in his thoughts and realized he was three aisles away from the freezer section. Damn maze of a supermarket. He went through his mental list again, he was almost halfway through when the pop song slipped hack into his head and the two became a strange mixture. The list started to be set to the beat of the song, making its own new rhythm.

     Despite his horrible luck dating he had gotten really lucky when it came to his friends. Scott had decided to trek to New York to go to NYU as well. Scott always insisted it was totally unrelated to his own decision, “He just wanted to be around all the great culture.” Scott had still never seen Star Wars, he wouldn’t know culture if it bit him in the ass. Lydia had also followed them to New York. Everyone had expected her to go to MIT or some Ivy league, “It was the most economical choice, Stiles” Said the girl from one of the wealthiest families in Beacon Hills. Stiles was so grateful for them though, after everything they went through none of them really wanted to be separated. He probably would have gone to a community college near whichever Ivy league Lydia would have chosen.

     Everyone else had gone their own ways but they all still stayed in contact. Allison had gone with Chris to try and reform the Hunters. She and Scott had tried to make everything work long distance but it was hard, she couldn’t always say where she was and that breed paranoia between them. They eventually decided to break up to salvage their friendship. Jackson had opted for a college on the west coast but he would still fly out to meet with Lydia. It always seemed to make Scott’s breakup harder on him. They could do so much more and Scott always felt like they took it for granted. Lydia eventually had to sit him down and talk to him about it. Danny and Ethan had both started traveling. No one was 100% sure how they got the money to do this but they seemed happy. They always sent Christmas cards and postcards.

     And that’s when the carts crashed together. Stiles T-boned another person’s cart so hard he knocked it over, almost all of the contents spilling out onto the floor. “Shit! I’m so sorry.” He moved to started help the person pick their stuff up. “I totally wasn’t paying attention and didn’t see you. It happens all the time. Well not the whole cart car crash thing but the getting lost in my own thoughts thing. It’s lead to a few awkward moments, much like this one. My best friend Lydia always says…” And that’s when Stiles realized the mystery stranger hadn’t moved to help him, or pick up the cart, or even speak. Stiles finally stood up to look at the stranger with his arms full of groceries, and the face he saw made him drop them on the floor.

     Derek Freaking Hale. Derek Freaking Gorgeous Ass Hale. Derek Freaking Gorgeous Ass Bed Abandoning Hale. His face mirrored Stiles’. Complete and total shock. Derek’s mouth was slightly open, as if he was still trying to form words… But sadly, it was a little late for words. Stiles had a hard time finding the right words as well, He didn’t know what to say to the other man. A first. Sadly “Hi” and “How have the last three years of your life been?” didn’t seem like they were going to cut it. But Derek Hale was always one of the only people that could make him go speechless.. Stiles did manage to be the first one to recover from the shock. He managed to move away from the cans and spilled food and free his cart from the mess as well and quickly… Not running, but running away.

     It took Derek another few seconds to comprehend what was happening and then he was running after him, overturned cart and mess forgotten. “Stiles! Shit Stiles!” He called after him, almost tripping over his own feet. In another life he’d be head over heels to see the gigantic Derek Hale tripping over his own feet to get to him. Derek may be five years older than him but he still had a good deal of height, and muscle on the ever lanky Stiles. He didn’t bother to turn back to Derek. He kept walking, straight ahead like a soldier. Because he knew there was a good chance that if he turned back he’d punch Derek’s perfect nose in.

     “Stiles, please, wait!” Derek said as he finally managed to get in front of him, effectively stopping him by placing both hand on the sides of the cart. “I swear to whatever god your furry  werewolf ass believes in, I will run you over with this cart if you don’t move your ass.” Stiles didn’t look at him as he threatened him. He knew Derek could hear his heart pounding from the anxiety of finally having to face Derek. “Stiles, Please-” But Stiles didn’t give him a chance to finish the thought. “No, Derek! Stop standing there, stop saying my name, stop the regretful look, just stop everything! I don’t care, I don’t care about anything you have to say to me anymore! And you have proved that you have nothing to say to me! So just let me leave!” Stiles was exclaiming, he knew he was but he didn’t care how loud he was getting. “Just let me explain, please. I can explain everything!” Derek wasted no time in starting to plead with him. “Three years too late Derek! No contact, nothing! For three years after you used me! Not even a damn note on your pillow!” Stiles still couldn’t forget the feeling of finding out Derek’s cell had been disconnected, he couldn’t even do that sappy thing where he called his phone to hear his voicemail message.

     “Stiles please believe me- I’m so sorry. Just let me explain. I know I deserve all of this, all your anger. But I promise, I had a reason.” Derek was full on pleading at this point but Stiles didn’t- couldn’t listen. He wouldn’t let himself be hurt again. Stiles shook his head, he had to find the words, why was it he couldn’t find the words. He could always babble on, find something to say. But not now. The only thing he felt coming were tears and he was not going to let Derek Hale see him cry.

     “I don’t want to hear it, Derek.” Stiles couldn’t meet his eyes anymore, not that he was doing such a good job of it before. “I won’t get hurt again. I can’t.” Stiles knew he had to get away from Derek. He was going to have a panic attack if he didn’t. He hadn’t had one on months, and he hadn’t had a Derek related one in over a year. He was finally feeling better. So, he unceremoniously abandoned his cart and made a break for the door. Thankfully Derek was still in too much shock to bolt after him. And luckily there was a rather irate worker who was ready to tackle Derek if he didn’t pay for what was broken. Sometimes fate isn’t a bitch.

      Stiles didn’t stop running until he reached he and Scott’s apartment. They had almost finished moving in but that didn’t stop the door from hitting a stray box as it swung open. Stiles only could slam it closed and flop down on the couch. He didn’t want to think about Derek, about how in love with him he was. Even before they started flirting, Stiles had a massive crush on him. It was almost better when Derek had been oblivious to his pining.

     He heard Scott walk in a little while later. “If you didn’t get my ice cream I’ll kill you.” His roommate said as he walked to the small kitchen. Stiles just groaned back in response, not bothering to look up to see his friend. He could hear Scott rummaging around, he had a good mental idea of how this would play out. First: he would notice he was ice cream less, second: he would check for other things Stiles had said he was going to get, and finally he would approach his roommate about it.

     “Hey man?” He sympathetically asked, right on cue, “Did you go out today?” He could hear the worry in Scott’s voice. He had been there with him through some of the worst moments of his life. He could always tell whenever Stiles was hurting. It wasn’t even a werewolf sense, it was just a Scott sense. “Yeah.” Stiles replied noncommittally, he didn’t want Scott to turn into a mother hen. He was a grown man, he could carry his own broken heart. “Did you have a panic attack?” Scott asked as he sat down on the floor near the arm of the couch so he was close to Stiles’s face. It was his way of giving Stiles space but still remaining close. “No, nothing like that… I saw Derek today.” Stiles hated the weakness in his voice, it was three years ago, he should be fine now. He should have stopped caring. “Derek Hale? What was he doing there?” Scott sounded almost as surprised as he had felt earlier. No one had known where Derek had disappeared to. One day he was there then the next his apartment was cleaned out and his phone was disconnected, almost like he never existed.

     “I don’t know, I didn’t talk to him.” Stiles responded, sitting up. He refused to look at his friend. “Then are you sure it was him, it could have been someone else that just looked like him maybe?” Scott's effort to console him, as well meaning as they were, fell flat. “I know it was him Scott, he said my name. I ran into him with my cart, well I hit his cart with mine and knocked it over.” Stiles blurted, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “What?” Scott asked as he maneuvered onto the couch so he was sitting next to his friend. “Yeah.” A humorless chuckle escaped Stiles. “He tried to talk to me but… I didn’t let him. Should I have? I mean, if i was the reason he left Beacon Hills then maybe i should have listened to him.” Scott could recognize when Stiles was about to start babbling so he spoke up. “No man. You know you weren’t the reason he left. Derek has always had his own reasons for doing everything, you know that.” Stiles just nodded but he leaned into Scott’s arms when his best friend wrapped an arm around him.

     “Hey Scott?” Stiles asked a little bit later. They hadn’t moved yet and Stiles really didn’t want to but there was something pressing on his mind. “Yeah man?” Scott asked. “My ass is asleep… And I’m hungry…. And we have no food.” Scott couldn’t help but chuckle at his friend’s complaints. “Well two of those are your fault Stiles.” Scott said, earning him a jab in the ribs, but it just made him laugh louder. “Pick a movie, I’ll call for Thai.” Scott said while moving for his phone. “Deal.” Stiles got off the couch with a small limp (making Scott laugh even more) and went to go through their movies. Eventually settling on Zootopia.

     They spent the rest of the on the couch after their take out arrived,  binge watching old movies and Disney movies. The only talking they did was bickering about which movie to put on next (“But Scottttt, we haven’t watched Young Frankenstein in forever…”) They wound up crashing on the couch together, Derek completely gone from both of their minds.


	2. The Teacher's Assistant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read this and given it kudos!  
> I did some editing on the first chapter. No major plot points were added, just some more details. Also! All tags are subject to change (this is in the tags but I'd rather say it here too, better safe than sorry). I don't have a 100% solid plan for this story so I don't always know what i need to tag until it has been written. I'll do my best to keep updating the tags before posting chapters on here. So far I have a rough outline to chapter five so it should be accurate up to that point.

     “Derek doesn’t deserve to be in your life Stiles, he hurt you. He had years to explain it and he elected not to. These were his choices, he has to live with them. You can’t sacrifice your mental wellbeing to make him feel better.” Lydia said before taking a sip of her latte. Even though Stiles knew she cared about him she always spoke with such an easy nonchalance that could be unnerving. Stiles always chalked it up to her almost professional like manner. It didn’t change now that she was in college, especially since she was in school for business. She still was always dressed perfectly, with never a hair out of place.

     “I know Lyds… I’ve just been thinking about everything.” Stiles admitted. “Isn’t that dangerous for you?” Jackson “asked” earning whack from his girlfriend. Los Angeles was good for him. Getting away from everything had really pulled the stick out of his ass, even though he always saved at least a little snark for Stiles. It was more playful banter between them now though, it was unspoken that they’d never really be friends but they could be cordial. “What I think he means to ask is, are you sure focusing on Derek is a good idea. You were really hurting after he left. Neither Jackson or I want you to be in pain like that again.” Lydia stated.  “Really Jackson, you want to protect me from pain?” Stiles asked with his eyebrows raised, teasingly. “Don’t you have a class to get to Stilinski?” Jackson asked, incredibly annoyed at Stiles already.

     Stiles looked at his watch and groaned. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he did. Now that he was a junior he was finally working on his major full time. It took Stiles the longest out of all of his friends to declare his major. He had eventually decided on pursuing studying law. Stiles knew he would never become a lawyer, it was much too serious for him. But he had always had such a fierce determination to help others. He was always sure he wanted to do something that would help others with his life, and that meant that learning the law would be the best way to do it. It would be the easiest way to get a job in law enforcement.

     “By that groan I would signify that as a yes.” Lydia stated, now looking at her phone. Her perfect nails dancing across the screen as she texted. “I have one of my first law classes.” Stiles told them. He was nervous about starting the courses toward his major. If he was honest with himself, even though it sounded silly, it made him feel old. After everything that happened when they were in high school everything in New York just seemed foreign. That could just be because New York was much more massive than the little town of Beacon Hills. It could also be that now that their small group wasn’t always worried about defending themselves life seemed to go faster.

     “Go to class Stiles, you have to save the world someday, remember?” Lydia teased. It brought a small smile to his face. “Yes ma’am.’ Stiles gave her a mock salute as he stood up. He quickly hugged Lydia and teasingly tousled Jackson’s hair before leaving the small cafe and walking to the building his class was in. New York was slowly getting colder, it was probably going to start snowing soon. He was happy for the sun, it glinted off the buildings and made the city seem like the shining city in the pictures. Stiles remembered back to the first few days on campus, he had gotten lost every single one of them. On the worst day he had ended up in Times Square instead of his economics class. He had had to call Scott to come find him. It was still in the top five most awkward cab rides they’d ever had.

     Stiles was one of the last people to trickle into the class. He did his best to take a seat closer to the front, not because he was a teacher’s pet, just because it would be easier to copy down any notes that way. He had taken a seat next to one of the biggest men he had ever seen in his entire life. The man was gigantic, he had at least a full foot on Stiles and could probably bench his weight easily. Stiles didn’t realize he was staring until the man shot him a look that made Stiles quickly look down and get his stuff in order, despite its orderliness. The other man didn’t even seem fazed by their interaction.

     “Good morning, class and welcome to Constitutional Law. My TA will be passing out your syllabus. He will help teach this class and answer any questions you may have, both his and my office hours are on your syllabus.” The professor continued to drone on but the Teacher’s Assistant finally caught Stiles’s eyes and made him freeze from shock. 

     Derek Hale passing out syllabi. Derek freaking tie wearing Hale was handing out stacks of papers to each row of students. He hadn’t seen Stiles yet and Stiles couldn’t draw his eyes away from him. Stiles finally took the time to actually look at him. He didn’t want to admit to himself that Derek was just as handsome as he remembered. It was one of the only times he had ever seen Derek cleanly shaved. Stiles prefered the stubble, it offset his eyebrows much better. Academia strangely suited Derek well. He had traded his Henley and black leather jacket for a light blue button up and a tie. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows showing that he was just as strong as ever. 

     Derek had never told Stiles he was thinking about college, much less ever wanting to get his Masters. It seemed strange, they shared their pasts and their bodies, but Derek never shared his dreams and ambitions with him. It strangely hurt Stiles more than anything else. More than waking up alone, more than driving to Derek’s apartment to find it had already been cleared out, even more than finding out he had no way of contacting Derek. Derek never told him something that he would have had to think care about, to constantly plan for. It made Stiles feel dirty, like he made Derek feel like he couldn’t open up to him. He had babbled to Derek about everything, the repairs he’d need for his jeep, his dad’s diet, his own college future! But thinking back he couldn’t think of one time Derek had confided in him about his future plans not even pack related ones. Stiles never kidded himself, he knew he was never pack so he never felt bad about not knowing Derek’s plans with them. But reflecting back…

     Stiles felt the familiar feeling of his chest tightening, his breath slowly started to hitch. He had to get out of here, he wasn’t going to do this here. He stood up as quickly as he could and gathered his stuff as quietly as he could and shoved it into his bag as he left the class. He saw Boyd eyeing him out of the corner of his eye but he didn’t care, he probably thought Stiles was a horrible person, he was right. He ignored any other looks from the other students and the professor. He didn’t see Derek gaping when he finally noticed him. Stiles had remembered seeing a bathroom close to his classroom and beelined to it, his hand fumbled with locking the door and he eventually gave up on it, his hands shaking too badly to properly work. He dropped his stuff and grabbed onto the nearest sink trying to run some water. 

     His mind was racing, he couldn’t focus. He was a horrible person. He pushed Derek away, it was all his fault Derek left. He ignored his feelings,he made him feel like he didn’t care… He was so stupid. He loved Derek but he couldn’t even bother to listen to him. Stiles made the mistake of glancing up at his reflection in the mirror, the man staring back didn’t deserve to be alive. He hurt everyone he had ever cared about. Stiles didn’t feel his fist collide with the mirror, he didn’t hear it shattering or the blood dripping from the blossoming wound. He sunk to his knees and let his head fall to the porcelain sink. He felt like a failure. Stiles had no control over his breathing. He couldn’t stop himself hyperventilating. Normally he could at least try to calm himself down but not this time. His mind was moving too fast.

     He didn’t hear the door burst open behind him and two men run in. “It’s too open for an attack, Derek. They may be brazen but they aren’t stupid.” Stiles could hear a deep voice say, it sounded familiar but he couldn’t put it together. He heard a pair of soft footsteps approach him before gentle hands touched his shoulders and back. “He’s having a panic attack.” The man touching him said. It took Stiles a few seconds to realize it was Derek speaking. He didn’t want Derek to see him like this. It was all his fault. He started to hyperventilate harder as he tried to pull away from Derek’s soft hands. He didn’t deserve them.

     “Stiles…” Derek’s voice was still so gentle. “Please listen to me, I need you to breathe. Just listen to the sound of my voice. Can you do that?” Stiles felt himself nod, he didn’t know why. He didn’t know why Derek wanted to help him, he was such a screw up. “Okay, thank you, Stiles. Listen to my breathing and try to follow it, alright? In, and out. In, and out.” Derek’s voice was so calm. He was good at this. Stiles felt his breathing begin to slow as he calmed down, slowly but surely. Derek kept giving him instructions, it gave him something to focus on, to fix his speeding mind on.

     “Derek, his hand.” He heard the other man say. Stiles tried to hide it from their views, he didn’t want to look as weak as he was. Derek stopped him and gently took his hand. “Stiles….” Derek whispered to himself as he started to take his pain. “I’m sorry, Derek I’m so sorry… So sorry.” Stiles could hear himself speaking but he had no control over the words flooding out of his mouth. “It’s my fault, everything… I’m so sorry.” Derek tried to shush him, his voice was still so soft and caring. “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Stiles. Just keep breathing.” Stiles wanted to resist but he felt himself calming from the pain flooding out of his body. 

     It was progressively getting harder to stay focused on Derek’s voice and keep his eyes open. His panic attack, which was winding down thanks to Derek had taken a lot out of him. Derek taking his pain hadn’t exactly helped him stay conscious, the lack of pain had helped ease his mind. He felt Derek catch him when he swayed a little. He could hear the other men talking but he wasn’t focused on their voices anymore. He finally let his eyes slip closed and fell into sleep.

     Stiles woke up in his own bed back at he and Scott’s apartment. He bolted up and looked around the second he was conscious enough, he couldn’t remember how he got there. He remembered his panic attack but nothing after that. He was still dressed but someone had taken off his shoes and bandaged his hand. He could faintly hear someone talking on the phone in the other room. Not recognizing the voice immediately he picked his trusty baseball bat up from the ground and silently crept towards the door. He took a second then opened the door, letting it swing and hit the wall. The only other person in the apartment was the giant guy from his class, he had been talking to someone on the phone.

     If Stiles had fazed him by jumping out of his room wielding a baseball bat, he didn’t show it. “I have to call you back Erica.” The man said into the phone with what looked like a smirk. “You’ve been asleep for a long time.” He looked back up at Stiles after slipping his phone into his pocket. “Why are you here?” Stiles asked not dropping his bat. “Derek wanted me to wait until you were up.” The man said. He still had an amused look in his eye. “I don’t even know who you are.” Stiles told him. “Boyd, I’m one of Derek’s Betas. Now will you please drop the bat, you look ridiculous.” Stiles let the bat lower slowly, never once looking away from Boyd. 

     “I’ll have you know, I have used this bat on many an occasion to successfully defend myself.” The serious man stifled a chuckle at his come back. It was the closest Stiles could get to his usual snark at the moment. “I know, Derek’s told us about you. From his stories though you never seemed to be very successful.” Boyd said, making Stiles huff and flop onto the couch. “I used it to save him more times than he’s ever saved me and- wait…” Stiles had a realization, Derek had Betas. “Derek talks about me? Wait Again…. Derek is a Beta, how can he have them? Laura was the Alpha… Unless….” His voice trailed off but Boyd nodded in confirmation. “She’s been gone for a while now. He doesn’t talk about her or how it happened.” Stiles just nodded. It didn’t surprise him that Derek wouldn’t let his Betas, his pack and by definition some of the closest people to him, about Laura. He was a private person and he had never specialized in the sharing emotions department.

     “Now that you’re up I’ll go. Derek said you’ should rebandage your hand before you go to bed.” Boyd said as he started to move to the door. Stiles didn’t say anything, too shocked to. He completely forgot about the human custom of saying goodbye until he heard the door click closed. Derek had been here. He had taken care of him in a way. He had calmed him down, taken his pain, and then bandaged his injury without Stiles being the wiser to the majority of it. It confused Stiles, he had left him but now he was caring for him. Maybe it had something to do with what happened to Laura? Stiles knew that Derek would drop everything for the people he cared about. Once upon a time it had been Stiles he did it for… Even though he still maintained he had saved Derek’s life more than he had saved his.

     Stiles curled up into a ball on the couch. It was as good of a place as any to wallow in his confusion. He wanted to hate Derek, he wanted to still be angry. But seeing Derek just confused him more than anything. Derek had an all new life now, one that Stiles wasn’t apart of. One that included ties and textbooks, instead of Henleys and leather jackets. He probably had a brand new boyfriend, or girlfriend who had never gotten anywhere close to hurting him.Stiles ran through mental images of Derek and this mystery person, a sickening feeling of jealousy rising in his gut that it wasn’t him. That he didn’t have that perfect life with Derek, that he still didn’t even know what it felt like to wake up next to the man.

     Despite his brain still moving too fast and focusing on horrible topics, Stiles fell into a fitful sleep on the couch, he was plagued by nightmares of the past. Of Derek never saving him because he was insignificant to him. They didn’t stop until Scott woke him up from one such nightmare when he had been tossing and turning so badly he nearly fell off their small couch. While he was up he remembered to change his bandage, as per Derek’s instructions. There was some first aid supplies on the vanity that Stiles didn’t recognize but he was too tired and emotionally exhausted to question it, if anything Scott must have left it out. Scott didn’t waver from his best friend’s side for the entire night. He made sure Stiles actually changed into his pajamas and wasn’t hungry. Upon not accepting Stiles response of “I have no appetite” he made his friend eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before letting him retire to his room. Even then Scott didn’t leave his friend, eventually falling asleep right next to his best friend so he could protect him from his own mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just some quick character notes. Since Laura didn't die while Derek was still in Beacon Hills he was a Beta then, he didn't receive the Alpha power until sometime during the three year period when he disappeared (more on that in upcoming chapters.) Also Erica, Boyd, and Isaac didn't live in Beacon Hills so none of them know who they are, they met up with Derek during those three years at various points.


	3. The Mail Mix-Up

     Derek felt a deep and weary exhaustion in his bones. It was brought out by everything that had happened between him and Stiles this past week, hell, the past three years. He was too worried about the other man to sleep last night. Instead he found himself reading through books he’d read hundreds of times before thinking of the past. Derek tried not to think too much about Stiles, about his capacity to care for others, about his deep brown eyes. He couldn’t admit to himself how much he missed the younger man, it would probably tear him apart. 

     Boyd had sent him a text when he left Stiles’s apartment only telling him that the other man was awake and okay, nothing more. But the flood of relief he had felt when he read those words caught him off guard. He didn’t let Boyd tell him where Stiles lived, no matter how much he wanted to be with him, it wasn’t possible anymore.

     When he saw Stiles in the class he was shocked. At first it looked like he was going to be sick because of how fast he ran. When he and Boyd got to the men’s room he was almost positive that they had gotten to him, he’d been in the same room with him twice in three years and that alone had made him a target. But the revelation that he was having a panic attack reassured him and yet worried him more. When he had known Stiles he never got panic attacks, or at least if he did he never told Derek about them. He had done what he could to take care of his hand, he had wanted to do more but he was limited to what he had with him. He had made sure to give Boyd what Stiles would need to redress his hand though. He wanted to go with Boyd. He wanted to see for himself that Stiles was going to be safe. At least this time he hadn’t totally abandoned him. 

     His youngest Beta, Isaac, could feel his tension through the pack bond. Isaac was living with him since the younger boy was only eighteen and still in high school. He had been Derek’s first Beta, he had turned him after his father had gotten drunk and almost beaten him into a coma. There was fear he would suffer permanent damage from the vicious attack. Derek had always had doubts about turning the boy, especially turning someone so young. But he had wanted the bite and after his father had been sent to prison for neglect it gave him a home and someone who cared about him. 

     “You smell upset.” The younger man said from his barstool. Derek was in the process of making breakfast for them both. Something he still wasn’t the best in doing, but he always tried. Isaac always joked that one reason he spent so much time in home ec and culinary classes was to make up for Derek’s hazardous cooking skills. It was true, Isaac was an incredible cook while Derek was an awful one. 

     Learning how to cook had helped the young Beta immensely. It gave him something to be passionate about and it helped to give him confidence in himself, something the boy was severely lacking in when he and Derek first met. All of the steps to it gave him something to focus on so he could relax. Originally he refused to believe that he was as good as he was. At first, he thought Derek just wanted to be nice. But when he finally believed Derek, the look in his eyes almost brought tears to Derek’s eyes.

     “I just didn’t sleep well.” He replied as he put a plate of eggs down in front of the younger man. “Eat up. You’ll be late if you don’t hurry.” Derek urged, hoping the boy would focus more on school than Derek’s mood. 

     They had developed a rather simple routine. In the mornings, Derek would make breakfast for them both and make sure Isaac got to school without issue and in the evenings, Isaac would make dinner and Derek would help him with any problems with his school work. “I’ll walk you downstairs, okay? I need to get the mail.” Derek said, finishing his own plate and putting it in the sink then going into his room so he could look a little more presentable than sweatpants and a loose fitting t-shirt. “Alright, just give me a few minutes.” Isaac replied, putting his plate in the sink as well before going to his backpack and getting his stuff ready. 

     It didn’t take them long to make it downstairs. Isaac left to start the short walk to his school while Derek went over to the wall of mail boxes and unlocked his. He quickly gave his mail a once over but noticed something about one of the letters, it had been put in the wrong box. There wasn’t a name on the letter but there was an apartment number. He could tell it was probably some kind of spam or junk mail but he didn’t want this mysterious person not to get something that could be important. He didn’t want to leave it lying around where anyone could take it. So, against his better judgement he began his trek to the new apartment. 

     The apartment was two floors below his so he told himself it was just a stop on the way home. He had absolutely no intention of staying at the stranger’s apartment any longer than he had to, just a quick explanation and then he’d be off. He was hoping this mystery person would be at work. It was around the time most people would be after all, then he could just slip the letter under the door and be on his way.

     He knew it could easily be a trap. The part of him that was always suspicious was screaming it. It would be so easy to trick Derek into going to a fake apartment to be taken care of quietly, leaving his pack defenseless. But the reasonable side of Derek knew that it was too simple, too ordinary for those after him.There was no way that they could make it look like an accident.

     It didn’t take Derek nearly as long as he wanted to find the apartment. It was relatively close to the elevator, only three doors down. Out of politeness he knocked on the door, but he was already moving to set the stranger’s letter down in front of it. But that was when the door opened, to someone standing in front of him with Star Wars sweat pants on. 

     “Is this your way of checking up on me?” Said the too familiar voice of none other than Stiles. Derek quickly straightened with the letter in hand. “I… This was in my mailbox.” He stuttered, handing Stiles the letter. He was the only person that Derek had ever met that could get him this flustered. “You don’t need a line with me, Derek. I imagine we’re past all that.” Stiles said curtly as he took the letter. The younger man seemed so… Tired. Both emotionally and physically. Even though he was in his pyjamas Derek could tell Stiles hadn’t slept well the previous night there were dark bags under his eyes and he seemed like he was about to fall over. “It isn’t, Stiles… I live a few floors above you. I didn’t even know you lived in the building.” Derek admitted. “I thought your Beta would have had to tell you something like that.” Stiles almost scoffed. 

     Derek took a second before he could respond, he knew exactly how his response would sound but he wasn’t going to lie to Stiles. He never wanted to lie to him again. “I told Boyd not to tell me where you lived.” Stiles’s face was hard to read but Derek knew that he was angry. He looked away from Derek and his fists were clenched. “Then you should leave so you can still claim ignorance.” Stiles gritted out. “I don’t want to claim ignorance Stiles. I did it to keep you safe-” Stiles cut him off he could finish. “Then thank you, Derek. Thank you for protecting little delicate me.” Stiles’s anger was almost palpable. Derek knew whatever he said in this moment would be wrong, Stiles had him flustered, he couldn’t get a clear enough thought to articulate what he wanted to say. “I didn’t mean it like you couldn’t protect yourself. I know you can, I’ve seen you. All I meant was-” Derek took a second to make sure he could tell Stiles what he wanted to say. If he spoke wrong he knew he may never get a second chance. “There are hunters here. Hunters that know who I am and who my pack are. They’ve targeted us before and I didn’t want you to become a target just because I spent too much time with you…. Stiles you’re bleeding…”

     Derek could smell the blood coming from Stiles’s hand. The man had had his hands clenched for too long and the little healing it had done had been reversed by the pressure. Stiles looked down at it as he relaxed the muscle. “It’ll be okay.” He mumbled, trying to move his hand out of sight from shame.  Stiles didn’t want Derek to think he was breakable, that he was weak. He didn’t need Derek to take care of him.

     “Please let me help you, it’s the least I can do.” Derek almost whispered, as if he was afraid his voice would scare Stiles away. It took Stiles a few moments before he opened the door a little more and allowed Derek to enter. “The bandages and other stuff Boyd left are in the bathroom.” Derek doesn’t tell Stiles he was the one to give Boyd the medical supplies. He silently goes to get them, when he returns he finds an unmoved Stiles. “Do you want to sit down?” He asked quietly. Stiles nodded and sat down on the couch. Derek hesitated for a few seconds then sat down next to him. 

     The softness when Derek took his hand surprised Stiles. He didn’t expect the older man to be capable of such a soft gesture. When they had been together all those years ago, they hadn’t taken the time to be soft with each other. They had been hurried and rough, trying to make up for time they had lost.

     Derek softly unwrapped the bandage, being as gentle as he would with porcelain. He had already seen Stiles hand so he wasn’t unprepared for the sight. “Does it hurt?” Derek asked as he put the old bandage on the coffee table. Stiles shook his head, “It doesn’t feel too bad. It’s nothing fatal.” Stiles gave him a half hearted smile. Derek did his best to return it but there was so much between he and Stiles, so much that was still unspoken. Derek carefully cleaned the wound, watching Stiles for any sign of pain or discomfort.

     “Thank you… for everything you did yesterday. I hope you didn’t get into any trouble for helping me.” Stiles’s voice was quiet, he didn’t look up at Derek as he spoke but Derek knew that his words were no less genuine. “It was no problem, Stiles. The professor went right into lecture mode after we both left, she even didn’t notice.” Derek replied, carefully looking up at the younger man. “You never told me…” Stiles began, before shaking his head. “Never mind, it isn’t important.” Derek softly began to clean his wound. “Of course it’s important, Stiles. Please tell me.” It took Stiles a few moments to get his words together.

     “You never told me you wanted to go to college.” Stiles admitted quietly. It’s not that Stiles had any illusions about their relationship, or lack thereof. He and Derek hadn’t been dating, they slept together. Their mutual pining had finally peaked after one dangerous battle. Derek had almost died, Stiles had yelled at him, and then they were kissing. Stiles knew that their had been no promise of a relationship,no guarantee. He had hoped that they would talk about it in the morning, that they could turn a one night stand into a relationship, all hoped of that were dashed when Stiles woke up to a cold bed.

     But there were still the times where he had babbled to Derek about what he wanted to do with his future. It was far from an isolated incident. Whether Stiles left it at a “Man I can’t wait to leave Beacon Hills and all this supernatural shit behind” or expanded to complain about college applications or being unsure of his major. Derek had so many opportunities to give even a sentence about what he wanted, and he always remained silent or gave him one of those dismissive grunts with a nod.

     Derek seemed almost shocked by Stiles response. It was obvious he hadn’t expected something like  _ that  _ to be wrong. He was slow in formulating his response to Stiles’s statement. “It was Laura. It’s what she wanted.” Stiles nodded, accepting the simple answer. Despite the fact it raised more questions than answers. But he kept them all to himself, he didn’t want to spook Derek with questions.

     “Stiles… About everything that happened between us-” Derek began, but Stiles interrupted him. He finally looked up at him to meet his eyes, making eye contact with Derek who had stopped taking care of his hand to gauge his reaction. “I don’t want to talk about it. What happened between us, everything that happened between us, was years ago. I don’t want to make both of our lives harder by opening a door that I know you want to keep closed. You obviously have a lot going on with your pack and your degree, and I want to get my degree without dying. Let’s just… Keep the door closed, and agree to be nice to each other while we live our own respective lives and handle our own respective issues.” Stiles could hardly believe the words he spoke and from the expression on Derek’s face he couldn’t either. But Stiles meant them, every single one of them. He had just expected to chicken out instead of being so blunt, but once the words started flowing he couldn’t stop them.

     “I respect that.” Derek said, simply. His voice was gruff, in the way Derek made it when he didn’t want anyone to know how much he was hurting. Stiles hated that it was his fault but he refused to feel bad about it. Lydia had been right, he needed to protect himself first. 

     Derek rebandaging his hand took the least amount of time out of everything he did, and once it was done he stood up and started to move to the door. Stiles stood up as well but didn’t follow him, his legs wanted to but he didn’t let them move.

     “I hope I’ll see you in class. If you need help catching up I’m sure Boyd won’t mind helping you. He said he programmed his number in your phone.” Derek was at the door now, his side was turned to Stiles, as if he wanted to look at him but couldn’t bring himself to follow through. “That’s kinda creepy,” Stiles gave a small huff f laughter but then added. “Tell him I said thanks.” Derek gave a curt nod before leaving. There was no anger in the gesture, the door shut almost silently behind him. But some part of Stiles wished he would have slammed it, that he would have been angry… That he would have fought for a relationship with Stiles.

     He let his shaky legs sink back onto the couch. He didn’t stay there long to wallow. He got up and got his laptop so he could do some school work and mindlessly surf the internet. Jackson barging into the apartment was the only thing to rouse him from his state.

     “Let’s go assface, it’s my last night in town and we’re all going out.” Luckily Jackson didn’t notice anything off about Stiles. “I don’t really want to get drunk tonight, Jackson. You’ll need someone to take your hungover ass to the airport tomorrow.”The other man scoffed. “That’s what taxis are for Stilinski. Get up and make yourself look halfway presentable for once in your life.” Jackson half snapped at him. “Is that an order?” Stiles looked up at him with a raised eyebrow. “Yes. Now if I don’t like how you look I’ll pick out what you wear.” 

     Stiles decided on the path of least resistance and gave a mocking salute before he closed his laptop and stood up. “You have fifteen minutes, then we’re meeting McCall and Lydia.” Jackson added. “I think you can just call him Scott, Jackson.” Stiles called out with a scoff. “It just doesn’t sound right.”Jackson said, wrinkling his nose. 

     Maybe going out would be for the best. He could take his mind off of everything Derek related for a little while. Maybe he could even meet someone, he hadn’t been with anyone in a long time, maybe it would be good for him. 

     Stiles stepped out of his room in wearing black jeans and an olive green button up. He held his arms out and turned so Jackson could get a good look. “Am I dressed to your satisfaction?” He asked with a smirk. Jackson huffed then answered, “I suppose, you obviously don’t have anything much better in your closet.” Stiles rolled his eyes at the comment. “Let’s go then. We don’t want to keep anyone waiting.”

     Stiles led the way out of the apartment. Once they were down the stairs it was only a short taxi ride to their club of choice. The second Jackson saw Lydia he immediately went over to her, leaving Stiles to find Scott on his own. He had a beer with his friend before slipping onto the dance floor. He caught the eye of several different men, but he only got close with one.

     He was close to Stiles’s height, but much more muscular. They danced together for the longest time. Stiles allowed the other man to kiss him, and he enthusiastically kissed him back. Stiles only drew the line when he started to get too handsy, which he was surprisingly respectful about. He offered no complaints and seamlessly moved back into the crowd, as if he had never existed.

     Luckily Scott was still there, never one to leave a man behind. “Do you want to get out of here?” Scott asked his best friend. “Yeah, lets.” Stiles replied, letting Scott lead him out. The taxi ride was quiet. If Scott had seen him with the strange man, he thankfully didn’t bring it up. When they got back home Scott stopped in the doorway, sniffing the air. “Stiles who was here earlier?” He knew he couldn’t lie out of this one. “Derek stopped by to drop off a letter. Apparently he’s our neighbor.” Stiles responded, Scott obviously wasn’t satisfied by that. “What?” He seethed out. 

     “He lives two floors above us. I let him in. Nothing happened.” There was a small rumbling in Scott’s chest at Stiles’s answer. “He shouldn’t have come here. After everything that’s happened…” Scott’s voice trailed off. “It’s okay Scotty, I doubt he’ll come back.” Scott could hear the faint twinge of sadness in his friend’s voice.

     “You should get some rest, Stiles.” Scott advised softly, resting his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “You can start tomorrow with a clear head.” Stiles just nodded in response. He did feel exhausted, it was better than staying up all night thinking about Derek.

     “I’ll see you tomorrow, Scotty.” He gave his friend a small smile before going into his room. He closed the door behind him and sat down on his bed. He wanted to stop thinking about Derek. Every man he danced with, the man he made out with. He wanted them to be Derek more than he could ever admit, so much so that it scared him. He had known for a long time that Derek had a tight grip on his heart. Stiles supposed that it was true what they said about first love, you never forgot about how it made you feel.


	4. Mother Hen McCall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! I truly feel bad for how long it took me to write this update. My goal was to get it done before I started college but plans often go astray. I'm hoping to develop some form of update schedule but no one hold your breath. There's a new summary for this fic as well (not really too exciting but I digress.) Also a reminder that tags are always subject to change! Thanks for your patience with me!

     It was someone banging on the front door that woke Derek up the next morning. He immediately bolted up with no regard for his appearance and threw his bedroom door open. Isaac was looking out of his door, Derek didn’t even have to catch his smell to know the young boy was afraid. “Derek?” The young man asked as another round of banging began. “Stay in your room, don’t come out. Call Boyd and Erica.” Derek rumbled out. Isaac hastily obeyed, nodding as he closed his door. Derek didn’t open the door until he was sure Isaac was out of sight. He could smell the other wolf from the other side of the door. He flung it open with a growl but it died in his throat when he saw who it was. Scott McCall.

     The man had changed a great deal since he had last seen him, his hair was a little longer, his facial features more defined. But the most noticeable change to his features was his anger. “So you are here.” Scott gritted out, hands were balled into fists. “Do you even comprehend, the hell you put him through?” 

     Derek was slightly caught off guard.Firstly, he hadn’t expected Scott to be in the city.  Secondly, Scott had never been this protective of Stiles back when they were in high school. They had been friends to the point acting like brothers without a doubt but Scott had never been protective. Stiles never let him act like that, he always maintained he could protect himself better than anyone else.

     “I know what I did was wrong, Scott-” Derek began before Scott cut him off with a growl. “No, you don’t. You have no idea. You tore the pack apart when you left. We all considered you to be one of us even if you weren’t ready to be. And Stiles- Stiles was in love with you, He had been for years before you finally decided to notice. Hell, did you only notice to be cruel, to crush him?” 

     Derek felt his anger bubbling up. Scott was backing him into a corner. Interrupting him, not letting him explain, making assumptions. The Alpha in him wasn’t having it. “What I did was wrong. But you have no idea what happened, none of you do-” Scott interrupted him again by almost shouting, “Because you wouldn’t let us be! You disconnected your phone! You left without leaving an address! We tried to look for you but what were we supposed to do Derek?! Even Deaton couldn’t find you with all his magic!” 

     Scott finally caught a whiff of a second scent, it drew a low growl from his chest. He had been too angry to notice it before. Not to say his anger had dissipated, if anything it was growing. But the adrenaline that came from it tuned his senses more. “Who else is here with you.” Derek’s face didn’t waver from his angry expression. “No one.” It made Scott scoff darkly. “Is it your boyfriend, Derek? Is that why he’s cowering in the other room.” 

     The roar ripped out of Derek’s throat before he could contain it, it was too close to an insult to Isaac. His instincts told him he was being challenged by another Alpha. Derek’s growl tore a matching one from Scott. They both held back their attacks, but only because Scott let the red fade from his eyes. “You’re an Alpha now.” It wasn’t a question, he was only stating what he saw. Derek felt his wolf slipping back. “I am. I have been for a while.” That was as close to elaboration as Derek was planning on giving Scott.

     Scott knew he should have smelled Derek’s Alpha, he should have worked it out sooner. He knew if he tried to argue with Derek further he was now, their confrontation would probably worsen into a fist fight. He had no idea who else was here with them but they didn’t need to take on the job of patching Derek up. He could tell they were a Beta wolf and that they could probably hear everything that was happening only feet away from their door.

     The younger alpha let out a small scoff. Not as harsh as the one before, but the anger was still there. “Just stay away from Stiles. Please. Whatevers happened, whatever made you leave, whatever happened that made you an Alpha. He doesn’t need that in his life. He hasn’t had to look over his shoulder in a long time. If you ever cared about him, then you can agree he deserves to be happy and safe. So please, keep your danger away from my best friend.” 

     Derek could only nod. Everything he did was to keep Stiles away from his danger. But Scott probably wouldn’t believe that, especially after the way this conversation had gone. Derek hadn’t planned any of this, he hadn’t planned on ever seeing Stiles again. He had hoped that by staying away Stiles would find a real man, someone who would protect him and well; not drag him into situations where he could be killed.

     Scott turned to leave, thinking that was all Derek would give him. And it almost was with how long Derek waited before calling after him. “I didn’t realize he got panic attacks.” Derek couldn’t bite back the words any longer. Scott paused before turning back to Derek. He took a few steps closer to the apartment but didn’t get anywhere close to the door. “They got worse after you left.”

     It was in that moment Scott saw Derek’s regret over his actions. It only crossed his face for a moment and then it was gone. But not before Scott saw the love that still resided there. “They’ve been getting better though, little by little.” Scott added, feeling a pang of pity. Derek could only manage a nod. Scott finally took his leave and left Derek to his thoughts. 

     Derek immediately went back into his apartment and went to Isaac’s room. He knew the young man had heard everything once he saw his face. “They’ll be here soon, Erica will probably get her first.” The kid’s voice and hands were shaking. Derek went over and sat down next to him while pulling him into a tight hug. “You’re safe, kid.” Derek could feel the shaking boy nod.

     He knew hearing all of this arguing was going to affect his young Beta. Isaac still had a hard time around confrontation, even if he wasn’t involved in it. It always brought him back to when he was younger and still with his father.

     Derek didn’t let him go. The only time he spoke was to whisper soft, calming words to him.How was he going to protect Isaac if he could barely protect Stiles. He was always plagued by questions of how he would protect his pack, the people he pledged his life to protect. He didn’t want to fail them, and he knew he never intentionally would. But he doubted he was capable of keeping his promises.

     He could hear the door open and someone hurry in. “Derek, Isaac? You assholes better bee alive…” Erica spent a few second looking around the living room and kitchen for them before her face appeared in the doorway, the worry evident on her face. “We’re fine. It wasn’t a hunter.” Derek answered before she could ask, keeping his voice soft for Isaac’s sake. “Well then who was it.” Erica asked as she went over to the pair, kneeling in front of Isaac so she could brush some hair from his eyes. “Someone from my past.” Derek didn’t meet her eyes. 

     All of his Betas know bits and pieces about his life before New York, but if he had ever mentioned Stiles to them it would only have been one time. He kept that part of his past buried under lock and key. Farther than Kate, farther than even the fire. They weren’t as capable of hurting him as Stiles was. All it would take was one too realistic threat to tear Derek apart.

     Erica knew when was a bad time not to push her questions and didn’t press him further, but Derek knew the second they were alone though he would be bombarded. “Boyd’s on his way, he should be here in a few minutes.” She said, subtly changing the topic. “I’m surprised you two didn’t get here together.” Isaac’s weak voice said teasingly. A smile that only Isaac could earn from her crossed her face as she responded. “You must be feeling better if you can pick on me.” Erica and Boyd had been dancing around a relationship for what felt like years now. Derek never brought it up but Isaac was notorious for teasing them both on it.

     Boyd could be heard running into the apartment. It didn’t take him long to find them in Isaac’s room. By the time he reached them the worry was gone from his face, realizing there was no danger. “Everyone okay?” He asked simply. Derek nodded before answering, “We’re fine. It was just unexpected.” Boyd accepted the answer without questioning it but Erica felt compelled to chime in. “He still hasn’t given a non cryptic answer about what happened though.” She gave him a very pointed look, but it was all for naught. Derek wasn’t ready to explain anything to them yet.

     Boyd was the only one that knew Stiles was living in the building. It was a fact that Derek didn’t want to explain to the other Betas. Boyd was the only one that knew how weighted the phrase “someone from my past” was in this situation.

     “I’m going to go make some breakfast.” Isaac said softly. Before slowly standing. Derek could tell he was doing better but still had to check in and make sure he was okay. “Are you sure?” He asked carefully. He didn’t want to hover over him, he knew how much Isaac hated it but he always had to ask. “I’ll be fine, Derek. Really.” Isaac gave the older man a small smile then left.

     “You’re such a dad.” Erica said with a teasing scoff, which earned an eyeroll from Derek. “Can we know what happened now that Isaac isn’t here?” Boyd asked, stepping out of the doorway and into the room, softly shutting the door behind him. Derek sighed, knowing honesty with his number two would be the best idea. “It was someone from my past.” He replied, much to Erica’s dismay. “You already tried to give us that one big guy, pick a new answer.” She was never afraid to call him out, despite the fact that he was her Alpha. 

     “His name is Scott. I knew him before I was an Alpha, I almost joined his pack.” Before he could offer any elaboration Erica was already chiming in. “Did he challenge you. If he’s another Alpha he can’t be happy that you have your own pack now.”

      “Does he live with Stiles?” Boyd asked. Derek hesitated before confirming. “I thought I smelled an Alpha while I was there…” Boyd said offhandedly. “Isn’t Stiles that guy you knew in Beacon Heights?” Erica questioned. “Hills. And yeah, he’s basically Scott’s number two. Even though he’s human. I did…” Derek sighed, “Something I regret to Stiles… I really hurt him.” Derek’s admittance got quieter and quieter. He hadn’t said what had happened out loud in a long time.

     “Is he going to challenge you?” Erica asked, always assuming there would be violence. “No, he just wants me to stay out of Stiles’s life.” Derek had been doing it for three years now, it couldn’t be too hard to continue doing it, right? “I don’t see why this Stiles couldn’t tell you this himself.” Erica said with a shrug as she stood. “Because I really hurt him, and he probably has no idea Scott came here.”Derek admitted. 

     “What could you possibly have done to him that was that bad.” Erica’s tone was leaning towards teasing but he knew it was still a relatively genuine question. “He’s the one you slept with.” Boyd said. Derek froze he had forgotten that he had ever admitted that much to Boyd. They had both been so drunk when they were talking about old flames that he had just assumed Boyd wouldn’t remember.

     “Wait you’re….” Erica’s voice trailed off. “Can we stop talking about this now?” Derek basically snapped. “Of course, Derek.” Boyd replied simply. “Good. It sounds like Isaac’s almost finished cooking.” Derek stood and brushed past them without saying another word, leaving them to follow behind him.

 

***

 

     “Scott, is that you?” Stiles called when he heard the door open. He was still wrapped up in his blanket as he exited the bathroom to see his friend. “Yeah man, it’s me.” Scott answered. “Where did you go? You don’t have a class this early.” Scott walked into their kitchen. “I went to see if the mail was here, did you make any coffee?”

     “Yeah, there’s some in the pot.” Stiles replied, sensing the lie but not pressing it. Scott quietly poured himself some before going back out to their living room. Stiles was still standing in the bathroom doorway.

     “How are you, Stiles?” Scott asked. He was quiet for several moments, Stiles quiet was always a dangerous thing. “I can’t stop thinking about him, Scott. I can’t get his smell out of my head.” The admittance was quiet. “Maybe you should talk to your father, see if you can go home for a few days?” Scott suggested, trying to match Stiles’s quiet tone. All it did was earn him a look. “If he finds out Derek’s here, then he’ll come up here with his shotgun to teach him a lesson. Even Derek doesn’t deserve that.”

     “Even if he’s seeing someone?” Scott couldn’t get the unseen man’s scent out of his nose. The question made Stiles pause before answering. “Scotty it’s none of my business who he sees. We never dated, hell, the more and more I think about that night I don’t think he even told me he liked me. If he’s happy then that’s good for him. I have no say in his life.” Scott just accepted the answer. He had no plans on mentioning anything that happened during his visit with Derek. Stiles accepted Scott’s silence and moved towards his room before turning back to Scott. “Oh hey, was there any mail?” 

     “How would I know?” Scott replied before he could remember his lie. “Because you went down and checked it genius.” Scott’s face at being caught made a rare smile cross Stiles’s face. “Dude you suck at lying. You went out to call Allison, didn’t you?” Scott just nodded, his lies multiplying by the second. But Stiles laughed. “I know you miss her man, maybe you should find out where she and Chris are and see if you can sneak down there. I don’t need a babysitter, you know.”

     Stiles returned to his room before Scott could muster out a reply, still laughing. If he couldn’t remember a lie like getting the mail he had no idea how he was going to keep himself from spilling the details about what he  _ actually _ was doing.


	5. The Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of answers in this chapter (the title gives that away.) This is one of the longest chapter thus far so hopefully it'll help make up for the approximate two week gap. Things will start heating up in the next few chapters though! Please feel free to comment!

     Stiles knew he was going to regret this. He just knew it. But he couldn’t stop himself from typing Laura Hale’s name into the search engine. He chewed at the inside of his cheek. He didn’t know why he was so curious about this. It’s not like he had ever even met Laura. And yet he found himself scrolling through all of the Laura Hales of the world. It took him a while to find the right one. He found a newspaper article in a small, obscure newspaper he had never even heard of.

     It described her death as a crime of passion, some jilted lover had gone seeking revenge. Derek had been the prime suspect for a while it seemed, but he had cooperated enough in the investigation to prove himself innocent. Eventually her case went cold and the police stopped looking for her killer, and Derek was allowed to bury his sister.

     The date of her suspected killing was a month after Derek had left Beacon Hills. Stiles had put two and two together that something must have happened to her after meeting Boyd but he still hadn’t wanted to believe it, Derek had already lost so many people he cared about.

     Stiles shut his laptop with a sigh. He had Derek’s class in forty five minutes. He still wasn’t sure how to approach Derek. He knew he should just act normally, like they didn’t know anything about each other. But on the other hand he wanted the angry fight. He wanted the shouting and the slamming doors. He wanted to get everything in the open. He wanted everything to be resolved or finished, not uncertain like this.

     He went into the bathroom and took off the bandage on his hand. The cut was still predominantly there but it had healed enough for him to feel okay with not bandaging it. He knew it was probably against Derek’s instructions, but it felt much better to be free of it. It was one less thing he had to worry about.

     He kept his head down as he walked to the building his class was in, still lost in thought. Part of him wanted to know why Derek left. It ached to finally find out what could have happened to make him leave. With that knowledge so close to being in his grasp he kicked himself for not letting Derek explain. But one thing Derek leaving had taught him was how to protect himself from what could hurt him. He had always known how to protect himself from any kind of big bad evil, but Derek had shown him how to protect himself from something he didn’t even know could hurt him. 

     This time he sat farther away from Boyd. He didn’t have anything against the man, but he didn’t want to be so close to someone that was now so close to Derek. The move got him a look from Boyd but nothing was said between them, he could probably guess well enough Stiles’s feelings.

     Derek didn’t bother to look at him throughout the class, he barely turned towards Stiles’s direction. It wasn’t not like Stiles raised his hand to answer a question or tried to ask anything. But there was still something cold and distant about it that made Stiles’s heart shrivel up.  Stiles couldn’t tear his eyes away from Derek though. He was so passionate about what he taught it was captivating. He had a true love and it came through in every word. 

     Soon enough Derek called the class to an end and the other students moved to leave. Stiles stayed glues to his seat, questions swirling in his mind. When Boyd saw Stiles lingering he held back as well, never one to leave his Alpha without backup. Derek had his back to both of them so he couldn’t see the silent exchange, but he could feel both of their presences. He could sense Stiles’s anxiety.

     After moments and moments of thought, Stiles felt himself rise from his seat and approach his former flame. “Derek?” He said, just loud enough for Derek to hear. He turned around to face Stiles, inhibitions obvious in his eyes. Boyd watched the scene closely. He wasn’t sure if he was welcome to view this scene, but he didn’t want to abandon his Alpha. “I… I wanted to know if we could talk…” Stiles admitted, his voice not raising from the near whisper from the sheer nervousness of doing this. His legs felt like jello, which was the only reason he hadn’t run out. “I thought you said you wanted to keep the door closed.” Derek said offhandedly, trying to seem like he didn’t care about why he was here. He gave a nod to Boyd so he would know he could leave, which the man obeyed silently.

     “I do, but I still want to talk… I-I found out about Laura.” Stiles’s admittance hit Derek hard, but barely showed. He had been expecting a lot of things, but not that. “What exactly did you find out?” Derek asked as he turned back to the desk to collect his papers, unable to look Stiles in the eye. “There was a newspaper article. It said she was attacked. They thought it was some old boyfriend.” Derek couldn’t help the bitter scoff that escaped him. He remembered when the police had come to him with that theory, even in his grief he had almost laughed in their faces.

     “It was hunters, wasn’t it?” Stiles already knew the answer before he asked, they were the only ones capable of getting to someone like Laura. “What do you want from this conversation, Stiles?” Derek asked, finally turning to face him. He didn’t sound angry, just tired. “I just want some truth.” Stiles answered honestly. “You didn’t want to hear it a few days ago.” Derek answered quickly. 

     “No, and part of me still wants to live in ignorance of it, but you know damn well I’m a masochist.” Stiles shot back. “And what’ll Scott think?” Derek gritted back. He wanted to let Stiles in, he yearned for him to be apart of his life again. But his instincts (and Scott) were right, Stiles needed to be kept out of his life, even if it meant Stiles hating Derek.

     “I don’t really care about what Scott thinks about my decisions. That’s why they’re called  _ my  _ decisions.” Stiles knew well enough to recognize when he was being baited into a fight, but as always, not being able to stop himself. “Oh really, you two live and act like you’re fucking but you still make decisions without thinking how your Alpha must feel about it?” Stiles couldn’t help his spluttering reaction, he only managed to incredulously get out, “My Alpha?” Before Derek was at it again. “Yeah, your Alpha Stiles, how long did it take for you to jump on his dick after you got off mine?” Derek hated the bitter words as they came out of his mouth, he regretted every. Single. One. Stiles immediate reaction to slap him only drove those feelings deeper into his core. “ _ Never _ , presume to know anything about my life again, Mr. Hale.” Stiles’s words were cold, but he managed to hold back all of his tears.

     He quickly turned away from Derek and walked as quickly as he could to the door, but before he opened it he managed to get out. “My condolences about Laura. I’m just happy she doesn’t have to see what you’ve turned into.” The hot tears were already streaming down Stiles’s face as he exited. Letting the door slam behind him.

     Boyd was standing right outside the door, he had obviously heard every word. Stiles wanted to blow right past him but Boyd stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. Stiles merely paused for a few seconds before shaking him off and continuing on.

     Boyd entered the classroom to confront his Alpha. Derek hadn’t moved from where he was rooted to the ground, eyes burning a hole into the ground. He hated himself. All of this was his fault. He only looked up when he heard the door nearly silently close behind Boyd, as if he had convinced himself it was Stiles.

     “Not a word, Boyd.” He gritted out. Before shoving his remaining papers into his briefcase angrily. “I’m not Erica, I know not to give my opinion when it isn’t wanted.” Boyd said, lingering close to the door. “How badly did he hit you?” Derek took a second to pause on his movements before going back to work cleaning up.

     “It isn’t bad.” He replied simply. Boyd nodded, not pressing. The slight red mark was already healing. “Isaac can stay with me tonight. You seem like you’ll need some alone time.” Boyd simply said before moving to leave. “Thank you , Vernon.” Derek had stopped his angry and rash movements to answer. His pause showed how heavy his soul was in that moment.

     Boyd may have a difficult relationship with Erica but in that moment he would never trade it away. Especially not for risk of what Derek was going through.

     “Never a problem Derek.” And with that he was gone. A few texts with Isaac and everything was arranged. Sure, the kid asked a few questions, but he trusted Boyd and at his request didn’t dig too deep. He decided it was better to leave Erica in the dark or else she may pry, and Derek didn’t deserve that at this moment.

 

***

 

     Stiles could feel the tears falling down his face, he wanted to get as far away from Derek as he could. His feet were almost running as he just tried to hold himself together. Inevitably failing when he collided with another student. 

     “I’m so sorry!” She said as she helped him collect his stuff. Stiles didn’t pay too much attention to what she looked like, he was too determined to get out of there. Once he had everything he mumbled a quick thanks and left the building.

     He almost ran back to he and Scott’s apartment, trusting his feet to guide him back. Once he made it back he ran into his room and closed the door behind him. Only once he was there he finally let his sobs out. He didn’t know why he still let Derek affect him like this. The older man would always own some part of his heart no matter how much he wanted to reclaim it.

     It was almost ironic. Stiles had wanted a big loud fight and that was almost what he got and he couldn’t even handle that. He had let Derek bait him into making everything worse. He was so angry at himself, for fighting with Derek, for crying.He didn’t have the energy to be angry at Derek anymore. Until this week he had mostly let all of his anger go. But of course, for better or for worse he and Derek could be explosive together 

     He heard Scott come in a little while later. Stiles couldn’t tell exactly how long he had been in his room before his return. Scott could easily tell by the way their apartment smelled of sadness something was wrong. He immediately knocked on Stiles door. “Hey man are you okay?’’ Stiles was sitting against his wall so it was very easy for him to just open the door without speaking. He had stopped crying a short time ago but he didn’t yet have the strength to move.

     “Derek?” He asked, sitting down next to Stiles. He nodded in response it took him a few seconds before he trusted himself to speak. “I talked to him after class. It didn’t go well.” Scott sighed, anger already forming. “What do you want me to do, Stiles?” Scott asked. He wasn’t going to go see Derek again in secret, whatever happened this time was up to Stiles. “Nothing, I don’t want you to do anything. This is my problem, Scott.” The last thing Stiles wanted was to have to be dependent on someone else doing his dirty work for him. 

     “Scott, why would Derek think we were sleeping together?” Stiles asked cautiously changing the topic. This caught Scott of guard, he had been so worried about keeping his meeting a secret that he had never thought of the possibility Derek may tell Stiles he had gone to their apartment. “Where did you go yesterday, Scott?”

     Scott paused before replying. “I went to his apartment. I told him to leave you alone.” The truth came rushing out of him. Stiles sat a little bit stiffer, he was silent for so long that Scott was about to speak. “Get out Scott.” 

     Scott knew he was in no place to argue. “I’ll leave you alone.” He said as he stood. “I’m sorry Stiles.” He said before leaving. The last thing Scott wanted with his friend was a fight. HE would offer a better apology in the morning but for now, he would give Stiles space.

     As soon as he exited his room there was a knock on the door. Scott sighed, hesitating before he went over to it and opened it. “Derek wants to talk to you.” Boyd said, almost emotionlessly. Scott was about to refuse but then an idea hit him. “Yeah, okay.” He left out the door but not before pulling out his phone and sending a quick text to Lydia to explain things and ask her to come over.

     Scott and Boyd made there way to Derek’s apartment in silence. When they were outside Scott could tell that Derek was alone inside the apartment. Boyd held back as Scott went in, knowing when not to intrude. Derek was waiting for him, it looked like he had been pacing before he had heard Scott get close.

     “How is he?” Derek asked without looking up at him. “Does it matter, you’ve hurt him very well. I asume that was your intention?” Scott was angry, he was angry his best friend was heartbroken and he was angry they were in a situation he had to be. “The best way for him to stay away from me is if I hurt him, then he won’t have any thoughts about me unless he thinks about how much he hates me. It’s better for everyone.”

     Scott scoffed. “Well you’re almost there. There’s no telling when he’ll recover.” Derek clenched his jaw, he hated himself for everything he had said to Stiles. He knew none of it was true, that Stiles and Scott would always be like siblings. But it was the best way he knew of to hurt him. And he hated himself for knowing how to hurt Stiles.

     “He asked me about Laura.” Derek said softly, “He found an article about her death. He wanted to know what had happened.” Scott softened a little. He had put together from his last conversation with Derek that Laura’s death had had something to do with his disappearance. “What did happen?” He asked cautiously. Derek was quiet before he responded softly. “Hunters. My best guess is it was some of Gerard’s men. She knew they were after her, they had been tailing her for a while apparently. It’s why I left.” Derek admitted, most softly of all. “Her death was the reason you left?” Scott asked, keeping his voice soft. “No, she called me about a month before it happened. On the night Stiles and I… Of all nights… she left me a voicemail saying she needed my help. I was already getting dressed before the end of the message.” 

     Derek had forgotten about how hard all of this was to talk about. He had managed to talk about it with Isaac a few times when he needed to talk about families, but unless it was needed he kept it under lock and key. “I was so focused on her I didn’t even think about leaving a note. She had a policy that we only contacted each other in emergencies. I knew it had to be serious. By the time Stiles was awake I was already with her in hiding.”

     Scott let the silence rest between them for a long time before he finally spoke up. “Derek, he needs to know this. He needs to know it was never his fault. He tore himself apart for weeks thinking he had somehow done something that made you leave.” 

     “It’s better right now he doesn’t know anything. It might make him a target if he’s seen talking to me too much.” Derek looked up to Scott. He had every right not to believe him, he had screwed up more times than he could count. “They’re still after you?” Scott asked carefully. Derek nodded, “They’ve gone after my Betas several times. Especially Isaac, they tried to get to him at his school before we stopped them.”

     “He still needs to know, Derek. He has a right to make this decision for himself. If you don’t tell him I will.” Scott said. Derek gave him a dark, sharp look. “But would he even believe you? Since you’re here he obviously doesn’t want you around right now. You would have said no to Boyd if he wanted you there. I assume you didn’t tell him the truth about the other night?”

     Scott glared at Derek, confirming what the older man had said. “You can’t scare me into not telling him Derek. He needs closure, and if there’s any chance he could be in danger, he needs to know.” Scott said, holding firm. “Fine, but whatever happens to him is on your head.” Derek said darkly. “Fine.” Scott said, turning to leave.

     Boyd was still waiting outside for him. At first Scott didn’t believe he would speak, until he was walking next to him. “Derek still cares for him, no matter what he says he’ll do everything to keep him safe.” Scott scoffed, all faith lost in the other man. “Derek will protect himself, I can keep Stiles safe.

     Boyd’s stony silence got even quieter if that was possible. It wasn’t hard for another wolf to sense his anger. He only spoke once they reached the elevators.“Derek cares more than you give him credit for. He does more for his pack than he’s required to. More than any Alpha would be willing to.” Boyd allowed his last sentence to hang in the air for several seconds before turning and leaving. Scott tried to muster out a reply but couldn’t. He knew it was directed at him.

     Scott reentered the apartment as quietly as he could. He suspected Lydia would already be there and his suspicion was confirmed when he heard two heartbeats. He went to his room and sat on his bed. He promised himself he wouldn’t go check on Stiles until the other man wanted to talk to him. And he didn’t exactly want an infamous Lydia lecture. Even though he knew he would get one anyways.

     It took Scott a long time to finally move, and when he did he only changed into his pajamas and laid down in bed. He regretted thinking he could lie to Stiles. Aside of his mother Stiles was the only person he couldn’t convincingly lie to. As soon as Stiles was ready to hear it he would apologize, he would tell him everything. About why he left, about the hunters. He stood by what he said about Stiles deserving to know. Derek would just have to deal with it.


	6. That Horrible Sinking Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm going to say it now, everyone is going to hate me at the end of the chapter. But to my credit, I actually updated. Fair warning I didn't edit this before posting

     Stiles woke up feeling horrible. Not only because of the past days events, but he also had a major migraine and felt like he was about to throw up his dinner from the previous night. Lydia had fallen asleep in his chair in the corner and didn’t stir when he sat up, clutching his head in his hands when the room started spinning. He stood up as carefully as he could and grabbed some clothes as he padded into the bathroom. 

     He felt nauseous and sweaty, he probably had a fever. He splashed some water on his face and that’s when he noticed it, the cut on his hand looked undeniably worse, it didn’t necessarily hurt more but it looked terrible. He cleaned it as carefully as he could and rewrapped it, mentally making a note to make himself a doctor’s appointment later. He got dressed carefully before going back to his room.

     Lydia was just waking up when he re entered and broke her stretch when she saw him. “Stiles you look terrible.” She said bluntly but caringly. She stood up and went over to him and gently cupped his face. “You shouldn’t go to class today, you look like you need to stay in bed and rest.” Stiles managed a small smile, “I’ll be fine Lyds, don’t worry about me.” He regretted speaking almost immediately because he could feel the bile rising in his throat.

     She sat him down of the corner of his bed before saying, “I’m going to go wake Scott up, I think you need to go to the hospital.” Stiles took her hand before she could move. “Don’t bother him with this, I’ll be fine.” He said, giving her the best simile he could manage. But sadly she didn’t buy it. “Stiles stay here, I’ll be right back.” And with that she slipped out of his grasp and left the room.

     Stiles groaned and put his head in his hands. His head throbbed, he was about to throw up, and his heart was beating like he was having a panic attack. But that wasn’t something he needed to go to the hospital for.

     Scott padded in a few minutes later with Lydia following behind him. Scott immediately woke up a little bit more when he caught Stiles’s scent. “Dude you smell terrible.” He said abruptly. Stiles gave him the best insulted look he could manage. “Geez, thanks Scott.”

     Scott sighed before crossing the rest of the short distance between them. “You know what I mean, Your heartbeat’s through the roof.” Scott said as he checked Stiles for a fever. “See what I mean, something’s wrong with him.” Lydia chimed in from her place in the doorway. Stiles tried to shake Scott’s hand off of his forehead. “Scott you’re training to be a vet, not a doctor.” He grumbled out. “Yes, however my mother is a nurse. Either way, I know what a fever feels like and you definitely have one.” His best friend said dotingly.

     “I just need some cold medicine and I’ll be fine.” Stiles said, trying to brush off their concern. “Stiles please, for me. I’ll stay by your side the whole time we’re at the hospital. If it’s nothing then I’ll do whatever you want.” Lydia pleaded.

     Stiles sighed, finally relenting. “Fine, just let me finish getting ready then you can take me.” He could immediately see Lydia’s relief. “Thank you Stiles. I’ll go call a cab.” She went out of the room already pulling out her phone to make the call.

     Scott stood in place awkwardly, everything that happened the previous night far from forgotten. “I um.. I’m… You should have something in your stomach, it might help.” Scott said as he moved out of the room without another word. Stiles didn’t move to stop him.

     Once he was sure he was alone he stood up again and started to look for a jacket. He had just started looking through his closet when his legs gave way and he fell to the ground. Both Lydia and Scott must have heard it because he could hear them running into his room. “Stiles!” One of them ced out, Stiles couldn’t tell which one. Either his fall or whatever was wrong with him had knocked the wind out of him, he couldn’t breath.

     “Lydia call an ambulance!” He heard Scott shout as he kneeled down next to Stiles. “Stiles, Stiles hold on please, everything’s going to be okay, just hold on.” he could faintly hear Lydia on the phone with a 911 operator as he slipped out of consciousness.

_      Stiles woke up to the feeling of an arm wrapped around his waist and someone else’s soft breathing ruffling the hairs on the back of his neck. The second thing he realized was that he was not wearing any clothes, and based on the chest of the man sleeping behind him, he wasn’t wearing any clothes either. The other man let out a soft sigh before pulling him a little closer. Stiles recognized this dream, but couldn’t bring himself to wake up from it. _

_      “I didn’t realize you were a cuddler.” Stiles whispered, his voice still groggy from sleep. Derek chuckled. “Don’t tell anyone, it’ll ruin my image.” Voice rough from sleep, His stubble softly scratched Stiles neck as he placed a kiss there. “You can’t possibly have the energy for anything more.” Stiles said as he turned to face Derek, softly placing a kiss on his lips. “I don’t, especially after smelling your morning breath.” Derek laughed unhindered as Stiles swatted him for his comment. _

_      “If I would have known you could laugh like that I would have done this much sooner.” Stiles said, not objecting when Derek kissed him. “If I would have known you were in love with me, you would have heard it much sooner.” Stiles couldn’t help the blush that rose to his cheeks at Derek’s words. _

_      “Derek, what are we?” Stiles asked quietly, their faces still so close together. “I don’t know Stiles, but I want to figure it out.” Derek replied, his eyes filled with honesty. “Me too.” Stiles said, softly cupping his face. Derek’s smile was radiant, Stiles couldn’t believe he had somehow kept that smile hidden for so long. _

_      “I do to, but right now I need you to do something for me.” Derek whispered against Stiles’s lips, maneuvering so he was on top of Stiles. “Anything babe.” Stiles whispering back, brain starting to short circuit as he felt Derek kissing his neck. “I need you to wake up for me.” Derek whispered against his skin. “What?” Stiles asked, thinking he had misheard. _

_      “I need you to wake up Stiles.” _

     The jolt back to reality was harsh. He was still laying down but he was clothed. Something was beeping in the background and he could feel an oxygen mask around his face, giving him air. “Stiles! Stiles thank god!” He could hear Scott somewhere around him, probably causing the pressure in his hand. “Derek…” Was all Stiles could get out before slipping under again.

     Derek was just preparing for a class when he heard it. The rumor came from a professor in a different department. Some Stilinski kid was faking an illness to get out of his midterm. Derek had almost dropped the papers he was holding. He knew how much Stiles cared about his degree, he wouldn’t miss a midterm unless it was for a good reason.

     Derek immediately started making phone calls, first to Boyd, then to any other contacts he could think of that might know what was happening. He finally got a break with a friend at a hospital who occasionally slipped them medication. They told him that a kid had been admitted with aconite poisoning. Wolfsbane.

     Derek almost forgot to tell his professor he was leaving he moved so fast. He knew this was his fault. Everything he had done, he had done to protect Stiles. And he had failed. 

     He knew Scott probably wouldn’t want him at the hospital. But he didn’t care at that moment. He was already en route and had no plans on changing course. He was almost there, he needed to apologize, to explain everything. Stiles just needed to hold on a little longer.

_      The next time Stiles woke up he was in his bed back home in Beacon Hills again, but this time he was alone. “Derek?” he called out, “Derek?” A horrible pit dropped in his stomach, this is just like what actually happened. _

_      He heard a clatter from downstairs somewhere, probably the kitchen, and then feet going up the stairs, and then a shirtless Derek graced his doorway. Stiles let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.  _

_      “I’m right here.” Derek said with a grin as he went over to Stiles and kissed him lovingly, “I’m not going to let you wake up to an empty bed after last night.” Stiles couldn’t help his grin at Derek’s words. “What were you doing downstairs then?” Stiles asked. “I made you breakfast, it was going to be in bed but… You’re awake now.” _

_      “I’ll join you downstairs. Where did you throw my boxers?” He asked as he looked around. “You don’t need boxers.” Derek called as he started to go back downstairs. Stiles let a laugh escape him before calling back. “I am not sitting bare ass on a freezing kitchen chair.” Even from up a flight of stairs he could hear Derek’s grumble, making him laugh more. _

_      He quickly dug out a pair of boxers and pulled them on before hurrying downstairs to where a beautiful, half naked man was making him breakfast. _

_      The smell of pancakes and bacon greeted him `at the threshold of the kitchen, and so did another one of Derek’s grins. “Sit down, everything will be ready in a minute.” He said before turning back to the stove. Stiles sat with a smile and watched Derek . _

     “Stiles?”

_      He couldn’t believe how happy he was in this moment, he never wanted it to end. _

     “Stiles?”

_      Derek turned back to him with his perfect smile. _

     And then Stiles woke up. Scott was sitting next to his bed holding his hand, worry stricken across his face. “Stiles I-I’m so sorry… About everything… Maybe I would have noticed something was off if I hadn’t-” Stiles cut Scott off by trying to raise his hand, which he managed to do weakly, before taking the oxygen mask off of his mouth. “I already forgave you Scotty.” His voice was so hoarse but Scott hugging him tightly was the only acknowledgement he needed.

     Scott couldn’t contain the sobs that wracked his body, he had gotten so close to losing his best friend, for what felt like the millionth time. He couldn’t let Stiles go for a long time, just making sure he could still feel his breath going in and out. When he did he wiped the remaining tears from his eyes and sat up.

     “Lydia called your dad already and told him everything. He wants to take you home I think.” Stiles nodded unsurprised, letting Scott fix the oxygen mask on his face. “I think you should, at least while you’re healing. They’re going to keep you here for a while, you have aconite poisoning.” Stiles stiffened a little at those words. He should be dead, it was by sheer luck and bad dosing he wasn’t.

     “You don’t anymore but they want to keep you under observation to make sure there’s no lasting damage. You’re still really weak and it’s rare.” Scott continued. “Was it a hunter?” Stiles asked as best as he could. “I don’t know Stiles, I haven’t moved from this hospital. It’s possible.” Stiles nodded in response.

     “Stiles… Derek’s in the waiting room right now… He said he wants to apologize... If you want me to tell him to go-” Stiles cut Scott off. “No, it’s okay… He can stay…” Scott nodded, not arguing with his friend’s words. “Okay. You should rest a little more before you see him.” Scott said gently.

     Stiles nodded, already starting to drift off due to the medicine coursing through him. Once he was sure he was asleep, Scott stood up and left the room to return to the waiting room. Both Derek and Lydia were standing, not speaking to each other, not even looking at each other. Once Derek saw Scott he immediately went over to the other man.

     “How is he?” Derek asked. “He’s a little worse for wear but he just needs time to heal.” Scott replied. “How did you know he was here Derek?” Lydia asked, obviously suspicious of his presence. “There was a rumor at the university. I had to make sure-” 

     “Your concerns noted and I’ll pass it on to him.” Lydia said, effectively cutting him off. “Derek can stay, as long as he tells Stiles the truth.” Scott said decisively. Lydia obviously didn’t like the idea but she wasn’t about to protest in front of Scott, especially when he was acting as an Alpha. 

     Derek gave a curt nod and chose not to argue further, retreating away from them to go over to a Boyd. “How is he?” Boyd asked simply. “Alive.” Derek replied, not looking at him. “Go back to Erica, make sure no one's come after her or Issac.” Boyd gave a curt nod and left Derek alone with his thoughts.

     The second Derek had walked away Lydia pulled Scott into a hug, she was still able to see some of the tear tracks down his face. “He’ll be okay, he’ll be okay and we’ll get through this. We always do.” Scott could only hold onto her for dear life. He knew she was right, that they had to get through this.

     Eventually everyone sat down. Scott and Lydia next to each other and Derek across from him. They didn’t speak as they waited to hear if Stiles was awake. It took hours but eventually a nurse walked over to tell them he had woken up again.

     After a nod from Scott, Derek stood and started walking. It didn’t take him nearly as long as he wanted to reach Stiles’s room. He stood outside for a few seconds trying to take some deep breaths. The smell of the hospital was already starting to overwhelm him, the sounds and the antiseptic made him feel like there was a noose around his neck.

     He knocked out of respect for Stiles then walked in. At first glance he had no idea what to say to the man. Stiles looked so human and small and… Broken. He tried to sit up but Derek quickly stopped him, only placing a hand on his shoulders momentarily.

     Neither of them spoke or really looked at each other for awhile. No matter how many times either of them tried to speak the words refused to come out.

     “Stiles… We need to talk.”


End file.
